random item tuesday

item! Happy St Patrick’s day. I hope you all are celebrating Irish culture by getting yourselves piss drunk tonight.

item! Speaking of Irish heritage, my father likes to behave that he’s a second generation Irish immigrant even though our ancestors came to America back in 1760’s and further diluting  the family blood line by sleeping with any person they could get heir grubby mitts on. My father likes to claim that us Driskill’s are “Irish” whereas I like to think we are a “bunch of genetic shit.” To each their own, I say.

item! If Malcolm X needed empirical evidence to prove his statement that white people were indeed, the devil, he needn’t look no further than the population of any local nursing home.

item! My girlfriend asked me the other day how I could justify invoking the name of god ( i.e. via my favorite new exclamation: ”goddamn you, teenaged jesus!”) if I am non-religious person myself. I told her that  invoking the name of Buddha is just isn’t as funny.

jareddriskill

matt berry -witchazel

I just found out that Matt Berry is giving out his long awaited follow up to the brilliant album, “opium,” for free (for a limited time, naturally,) at www.witchazelfreedownload.com!

I’m downloading the album as we speak (damn my sluggish internet connection! a thousand curses on thee!) expect a review in the next day or two!

jareddriskill

random item tuesdays

item! The Big British Castle (1) must’ve heard my complaint last week (2) about the podcast of Rhod Gilbert show being, on average, a paltry quarter hour per week… because this week the Rhod Gilbert podcast was an astounding 21 minutes long this week!

Yeah, I know that I complain a whole alot about the Big British Castle’s policy (3) of editing their radio programmes into podcast form, but just I’m too lazy to listen to the complete radio programme on the BBC website iplayer. It’s just  a real fucking hassle to have two different internet explorer windows open at the same time to execute the BBC iplayer experience.

item! God, I can be such a lazy fuck like that.

item! The (formerly) Richmond based electronics retailer, Circuit City, closed it doors for good this past weekend. It sure took those bastards long enough to do so. I mean, I don’t think I ever been to a Circuit City and left there with an positive experience or ever wanting to darken (4) their doorstep with my presence ever again. A little customer service can go a long way. I suppose Circuit City learned that lesson the hard way…

item! Speaking of poor customer service, I’m somehow still  holding on to my shitty retail job. Imagine that!

jareddriskill

1. BBC Radio Wales

2. Very doubtful, but if someone from the BBC is reading this humble blog, please be informed that I have a series pitch for a vampire comedy gathering digital dust on my hard drive that I want Kevin Eldon to star in!

3. i.e. the lack thereof.

4. That’s a joke because I am a (sort-of ) fat ass bastard.

one step closer…

I got my cap and gown yesterday, which means graduation is just around the corner. (1)

I was going to take a humorous photo of myself of cooking pancakes with a burning cigarette dangling out of the corner of my mouth while I was wearing my cap and gown. But I was foiled by 1) the fact that I don’t smoke and 2) I don’t own a camera except for the cheap wecam on my lap top and the logistics of taking said photo using my webcam proved to be impossible. (2)

jaredriskill

1.I’m already on the look out for jobs in my chosen field of study. Wish my sorry old ass luck!

2. This marks yet another potential comedic moment ruined by my lack of ownership of a high priced material good that most people take for granted.

random item tuesday

item! Ye olde jareddriskill had been snowed in for the past several days in his own home. I hope you all didn’t worry about me too much because I had my sub zero sleeping bag and a huge ass bottle of Jim Beam to keep me warm. I’m just glad I no longer do HVAC repair work because I would’ve been expected to go out in that shit and fix some poor old grandma’s funrnace so she wouldn’t freeze to death. Man, that shit used to be such a (grand)motherfucking hassle!

Not that I want some poor old grandma to freeze to death, mind you, it always seemed that these grandmas had furnaces that they hadn’t turned on in the Carter administration because they had broken beyond repair in the first place and parts for these furnaces were now impossible to find. The fact that grandma was fucked because she had some  obsolete model was something that she could never understand no matter how simply I explained it to her.

Item! I’ve noticed lately that the BBC has a weird priority process for editing down it’s radio programmes into podcast form. It seems that the more popular the programme is, the longer the podcast. For example, The Jonathan Ross Show podcast is usually about an hour long, versus The Rhod Gilbert podcast which runs an epic 12 minutes every week. This is despite the fact that both radio programmes are over 3 hours long when broadcast on the radio waves! I mean, what the fuck man!?!

I enjoy both podcasts, but some weeks Rhod Gilberts podcast is edited down so severely, that it makes no sense whatsoever. (Or is that because of Rhod’s thick Welsh accent?)

item! All three seasons of the brilliant British sitcom, The IT Crowd, are now available from itunes! I no longer have to watch grainy copies downloaded from some bit torrent site or in 10 minute chunks on youtube. There’s a whole world of underground British humor out there, such as ”The It Crowd,”  that will never get shown in America in a million years because most Americans thinks that British humor begins and ends with “Monty Python,” or worse, “Are You being Served?” And who would want to live in such a joyless world like that?

jareddriskill