random item tuesday

Item! Yes! The rumors are true: I signed up with a 3 year membership/contract with American Family Fitness. I’m now one of those fitness obesssed assholes who goes to the gym every chance they get. I joined the gym because as those unfortunate members of my faithful reading several who have seen me in person can attest: I’m no Adonis. (1)

Item! Jonathan Ross retruned to work after his three month long suspension from the BBC last weekend. Which is good for me because I was jonesing pretty hard for a new The Jonathan Ross Show podcast for many weeks now. (2) I was using BBC Radio 4’s  podcast of the delightful The Jon Richardson show to tie me over, much like how someone would use methadone to help get over a hardcore heroin addiction. (3)

Item! Well, Obama as been president for a week now and the world hasn’t imploded like those hardline evangelical christian assholes said it would.

jareddriskill

1.Unless, of course, Adonis was an out of shape misanthrope in person. If that is the case,  then, yes I am an Adonis. So bow to my greatness,  you worthless pleb!

2. Even though I hate the BBC Radio 2 bumper they use on his show with the female singer singing “Radio Twooooo,” thus streching out the “oo” sound in “two” for an extended period of time. I don’t know why, but I find it to be very annoying.

3. Not that I know from personal experience, mind you.

dreamlog #64

I dreamt that I was sitting at home watching MTV (1) and they were playing an old Iron Maiden video. (2) The video was of a song that I did not recognize, also adding to my dream-like confusion was the fact that playing lead guitar on the track/video was none other than Judas Priest guitarist, Glenn Tipon! (3)

The reason why MTV was playing this Iron Maiden video? Apparently some minor member of President Obama’s cabinet (4) was a diehard Iron Maiden fan and President Obama ordered MTV to play it was a birthday present to this particular cabinet member.

jareddriskill

1. You know that this was a dream because I haven’t watch regular tv ( I am more of a “wait till they relaese the dvd box set” man myself these days) since Soul Train got the ax.

2. Word from the grapevine is that MTV hasn’t played a music video since the late 1990’s.

3. Wouldn’t that kick ass!?!?

4. The assistant vice secretary of haircuts or something. I still think President Obama should appoint me as the Soul Train Czar so that I can bring the “hippest trip in town” back on the air.

the end of tyranny!

Yes! It’s hard to believe, but I finally finished reading “Infinite Jest” by David Foster Wallace! (1) I can finally begin to live my life again, however things will never be the same for me again (2) now knowing that I did the near impossible  and made my way through a modern literary masterpiece.

1. Please note my standard practice of making a “homemade” bookmark in the photo above, which means using the sales receipt for the book itself as the book mark. In this instance, the reciept was torn in half to accommodate the need for a bookmark for the text and another for the footnotes in the back.

2. As if my life was exciting before I began reading “Infinite Jest” in the first place…

jareddriskill

random item tuesday

Item! I apologize for the lack of posts lately,  I was without an internet connection at my humble abode for over a week and a half due to a faulty modem/wi fi card on my laptop. I don’t know about you, but when I’m in a situation where I am without an internet connection for an extended period of time, I feel as if a major human rights violation has been committed against me. Man, it was rough!

Item! Last week, I started my final semester of my undergraduate level of college courses. The end is in sight! I still can’t believe that I have actually made it so far in school. If I had listened to my detractors when I first started, I would’ve dropped out a long time ago. I know that I am not done yet, but let me take a moment to give my detractors a hearty “fuck you!”

Item! I was watching Barack Obama’s inauguration today and I realized that President Obama sounds a hell of a whole lot like that pro-wrestler turned actor, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. So, if there are any movie producers out there who wants to make a Barack Obama bio pic that makes Obama look like some sort of bad ass, you now know who to cast in the starring role.

jareddriskill

random item tuesdays

Item! I have been lagging behind in my attempt to read “Infinite Jest” in it’s entirety. I keep getting distracted by a bunch of nonsense, but I will prevail, so don’t you worry.

Item! Speaking of nonsense: Several women have approached me in the past few weeks saying that I’m “cute” and “handsome” and what have you.  I have no idea what these women are thinking because I’m nothing special.

Of course, I’m now getting all paranoid because this sort of thing has never happened to me before. I mean I’m jareddriskill, nothing “normal” is supposed to happen to me! I’m supposed to be treated with scorn and rejected at every oppurtunity!

Maybe I have some sort of terminal disease looming in my short term future and this turn of events is god’s way of fucking with my mind.  That has to be the answer, it just gotta.

Item! To add further proof to my impending death paranoia: The upcoming Morrissey album has been leaked on the internet.  Expect a review in the next day or two.

jareddriskill