There is no Best Of Soul Train review this week because for some inexplicable reason, WGN decided to play an all day long “Rocky” marathon instead of their usual programming. The only good that came out of this was that we were all spared from watching another useless episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos before catching a ride on the hippest trip in town.
jareddriskill
I know that there has been a rise in copper theft due to the fact that the resale or scrap value of copper is pretty high these days, but copper theft has not been much of a concern at my HVAC job ( which uses copper products on a regular basis) until recently. Over the past few weeks I have been on numerous calls to where entire HVAC systems had been stolen for scrap under the cover of darkness. It’s becoming a pain the the fucking ass.
At first, these thefts would happen at churches (there was one church that I recall that was struck and was unluckily struck again the same night that a brand new system was installed,) VFW halls, and other places that are usually left unattended for days at a time.
But recently, copper thieves have become brazen enough to steal sytems from occupied residental homes when the homeowners are on vacation or even while they are out at work. I was at one home today replacing a stolen HVAC system and thieves were lining up, with hack saws in hand, eager to steal that fresh copper while I was still at the house. Christ, I know you motherfuckers are fucking fiending for some more of that delightful crack cocaine, but at least have the common fucking decency to wait until I pack up and drive away before you go hacking away at that shit. Goddamn it man, that’s the type of shit that gets people killed! (Knowing me, I just know I would be the one on the losing side of that situtation,if it ever came down to it.)
Of course, we could nip all these copper related thefts in the bud if scrap yards checked ids and kept files/ reported suspicious looking activitiesdrop offs. But if you seen the type of people who run scrap yards you know that ain’t ever going to happen. So I guess we are stuck with this problem until the CIA develops a cheaper and more addictive drug to introduce to the urban population…
jareddriskill
Monday was a paid day off for me, so in celebration of my getting paid to do nothing that day, I decided to go for a walk on campus. While I was traversing on the deserted streets of campus, I had witnessed the coolest thing ever.
On the sidewalk, not ten feet in front of me, were two Squirrels engaged in a pincher formation against a Robin who was standing defiantly, like a true thug, on the sidewalk. The Squirrels were barking at the Robin trying to pounce at the Robin, but every time the Squirrels got within striking distance of the Robin, the Robin would hop up in the air about three inches or so and the Squirrels would retreat.
This continued for several minutes and the two sides were at a stand still until a second Robin swooped down out of a nearby tree and dive bombed one of the Squirrels, nipping it in the back with its beak. After this surprise manoeuvre, the two squirrels ran off and after some post battle posturing on the sidewalk, the two Robins flew away.
Man, what I would give to have a video recording of this battle! Too bad my ass is too broke to own a video camera because you all missed out on something really awesome looking. But on the plus side, I was technically on the clock while this battle took place. Cha-ching!
jareddriskill
1. The nice thing about having a three day holiday weekend is that when you come back to work on tuesday morning, you realize that you have a short 4 day work week ahead of you. Nice.
Except, of course, for garbage men. They have to work on the following Saturday to make up for the fact that the three day holiday weekend pushes the regular garbage pick up schedule back a day. It sure must suck to be them.
2. I had been thinking about getting myself a part time second job lately, with gas prices being what they are and everything. But the problem is that my with regular HVAC gig is that I never know from day to day what time I’m getting off work. (Like today, for instance, I worked till 8pm when I was supposed to get off work at 4pm.) and the overtime will do nothing but increase as the summer unfolds, so that will put a cramp into any hours I might have with a part time night job.
Also, he overtime at my regular job will solve any gas money issues I might have, but damnit, I was really looking forward to getting a relatively peaceful second job where I didn’t have to crawl around in someone’s attic or crawlspace for a paycheck.
3. Ever hear about those “what women want” surveys that magazines do that say women like men with a sense of humor? I used to say that those surveys were bogus because my sense of humor has done nothing but hinder me from getting women.
But this afternoon I had an epiphany: maybe I am not funny at all and I have been deluding myself that I was my entire life. This revelation would explain a lot.
So, what do you think, my faithful reading several?
jareddriskill
Last night I dreamt that I became obsessed with buying new socks. So obsessed, in fact, that I had bought so many pairs of new socks that my bed room was filled with 5 foot tall piles of brand new socks and I couldn’t move around my bedroom without knocking over 2 or 3 piles of socks all over the floor. I would say that it was awful dreaming that I had so many pairs of new socks, but in actuality, it wasn’t that bad at all. I mean it could’ve been worse, I could have dreamt about having a huge selection of trapper keepers or something else as ridiculous.
When I woke up from this dream this morning, I noticed that in reality that my feet were cold because I wasn’t wearing any socks in bed. Hmmm…
jareddriskill
This is a reference to I’m Alan Partridge series one where Alan Partridge (played by Steeve Coogan) was commenting on how boring Sunday afternoons can be, and not the sort of alright classic U2 song about a massacre of some sort. But did Alan Partridge foresee that Sunday afternoons on holiday weekends are usually twice as boring as their regular weekend counterparts? Sure, after you scan through the paper and make fun of the Parade magazine insert, don’t feel like going out shopping and listlessly channel surf on the televison for hours on end and see that, for a fact, there is definately nothing on, what else is there to do? So there you go, Sunday bloody Sunday.
I have to make a correction about a comment I made in yesterdays Best of Soul Train review where I said that I didn’t know anyone that was having a cookout this weekend. Because shortly after I wrote that comment, I recieved a phone call from a friend (yes, my faithful reading several, it’s hard to believe, but it’s true, I DO have a few friends that I haven’t alienated yet) inviting me to a cookout he was throwing. His cousin, a professional chef, had did all the grilling and she was a true culinary artist of the highest order. Damn, I never knew that one could eat like a king at an cookout! Usually cookout food tastes like charcoal or propane gas (depending what type of grill you use) and I give up eating after a few bites because everything tastes the same no matter how much Heinz 57 you put on it. But the food was so good at that cookout, I am still stuffed!
Believe it!
jareddriskill
I hope everyone is having a decent holiday weekend doing whatever it is you people do on memorial day weekend. The weather is nice outside, but I do not know of a single person who is having a cookout this weekend. Weird, ain’t it?
So when you are out gorging yourselves on hamburgers and hot dogs and forgetting about those who laid their lives down for this nation, think of me, the one who brings you, the faithful reading several, these poorly written reviews of The Best Soul Train week in and week out. It’s hard work, but someone has to do it.
Enjoy!
This week we are treated with another delightful Soul Train episode form the late mid-1980’s! The Soul Train dancer fashion key phrase this week was: spider-man costumes and other revealing skin tight Lycra outfits. The lack of circulating blood in the Soul Train Dancer’s body this week didn’t impede them from getting on down to “Turn On Your Love Light” by O’Brien and the aptly titled “Freakshow on the Dance Floor” by the Bar Kays.
The Soul Train Scramble Board: “John Thompson!” That name sounds made up, but what do I know? Meanwhile the Soul Train dancers danced to a song by another celebrity with a made up sounding name:Dennis Edwards and his song, “Don’t look Any Further.” Yes, my faithful reading several, “don’t look any further” if you want to dance along to a song by a guy with a made up sounding name. Yuk yuk!
The Soul Train music video of the week: “Heart Of Rock And Roll” by Huey Lewis and The News. Yes, I was quite shocked to see that shit taint the greatness that is Soul Train also.
This week we were treated, through the efforts of the make a wish foundation, the fulfillment of the last wish of Jesse Paralez, who wanted to be a dancer on Soul Train before he departed this mortal veil of tears. What a lucky bastard! I mean those kids with lukememia just seem to have ALL the luck! (Apart for having a painfull terminal illness, that is.) That’s all well and good that jesse got to dance on Soul Train, but my question is this: why did Don choose the Queen song “I Wanna Be Free” as the tribute song for Jesse?
This weeks musical guests:
1. Run DMC! They looked totally “fresh” with their black leather suits and white Adidas shoes, didn’t they? Two songs from the seminal hip hop act on this episode: “Rock Box” and some long boring rap about Jam Master Jay.
2. The Dazz Band! The skinny tie new wave/ funk fusion group played two high energy cuts: “Joystick” and “I’m Yours.” I thought they put on a better show than Run DMC did, but for some reason Run DMC and rap music took off in the public consciousness, whereas The Dazz Band and their “danceable jazz” just seemed to have floundered and became totally forgotten, like the bogus paranoia that had surrrounded Y2K.
The Soul Train Line: I didn’t catch the title or the name of the artist who performed the song this week because I was so distracted by the disturbing looking “camel toe” from the Soul Train dancer wearing the hot pink Lycra outfit this week.
The Don Cornelius Interview gaff of the week: man, Don just totally fucked everything up this week. I don’t even know where to begin.
That’s it for this week’s ride on the hippest trip in town. So on the behalf of Don Cornelius, The Soul Train Dancers and myself: love, peace and SOUL!
jareddriskill
More madness from the sketchbook of jareddriskill. This sketch is called “Tower of Dracula.” I came up with the idea for this sketch, as usual, by minding my own business walking down the street and a totally random phrase, in this case: “Tower of Dracula,” just pops in my head. ( Sometimes Ideas come to me while I am driving down the road too.)
Then, as a mental excerise, I try to figure out a visual “solution” to the random phrase. I tend to stick with the first image that pops into my head because, as I have found out from past experience, that you can ruin an idea quickly by overthinking it.
This is what I came up with for “Tower of Dracula:” a bat with a vampire head flying out of a dark tower under a cresent moon just like out of an old Hammer Horror Film. If Hammer did animated feature films, that is.
jareddriskill
I’m sure that you all heard of the recent court decision stating that paper money discriminates against the blind. Like most people, my first reaction is that of outrage against the so called “liberal activist judges” that the right wingers like to stand on their soap box and rail against these days.
But after registering this information, I come to realize that this decision is actually somewhat right because every blind person I have ever known has been ripped off by some unscrupulous cashier and/or caretaker who decided to take advantage of the fact that the victim cannot see the denomination of the bills on their person.
The same is also true of those who are bed ridden or paralyzed, people rip them off constantly because what is the victim going to do, get out of bed and stop the thief? Yeah I know, it’s terrible when those who can’t help themselves get ripped off by those they are supposed to trust, but it’s a part of life, but what can you do?
But of course, I think that this landmark decision is actually several years too late because don’t most people use debit cards to pay their debts, public and private, exclusively these days?
jareddriskill
1. I actually got bored enough to watch the Bourne trilogy of movies ( Bourne Identity, et al) and I have to admit that Matt Damon is one hell of a convincing action star. His unassuming nature and non over the top physique is what I suppose is what helps him to be believable as an ex CIA mind controlled killing machine, than say, Vam Dam or some other action film star of that nature.
Also just like coming out of a CIA induced false memory implant, I am reminded of a half forgotten memory of seeing Saving Private Ryan in the theaters with my father. And that my father had said while walking out of the theater, thatout of all the actors in that particular film, Matt Damon was the most convincing as a solider. Hmmm…
2. Speaking of actors, here’s another half forgotten mental checklist I had in my mental vault in which I had once used in my youth to distinguish the difference between Wesley Snipes and Denzel Washington, two actors who I used to get confused with one or another for some unknown reason.
Wesley: His films are more action orientated and is comfortable playing both heroes and villains in films.
Denzel: Has a symmetrically pleasing face, mostly acts in “message” or “feel good” films.
3. Hell, seeing how I am on a actor kick this week, let’s round out this edition of random item tuesdays with an actor who I feel is severely underrated: Frank Whaley. He was pretty good at playing roles which required a constant humorous surprised look on the character’s face. What ever happened to Frank Whaley I know his big break out role in Career Opportunities (which also featured tracks from both Tones On Tail and Jellyfish on it’s soundtrack) didn’t quite pan out for him, but damnit, I still think he’s a fine actor.
Whatever happened to Frank Whaley? You never see him in anything anymore, not even in a supporting role. (More importantly, does Frank Whaley still has his trademark Rockabilly pompadour?)
jareddriskill
