my head

My head feels like a 16 pound bowling ball full of snot. Apparently, it’s that time of year again where my sinuses begin to act up. The sinus pressure is so intense right now that its making me  remember long forgotten memories from childhood. Such as the time when I was in the fourth grade in Granite City, Ill and my teacher made the class pair up in twos and do a mock interview in front of the class.

For this assignment, I was stuck with Marvin, the bucked toothed wonder, who happened to have the unfortunate fate of being the only kid in class who was a bigger loser than I was. Other pairs of students went before us doing their mock interviews blah, blah, yada, yada. Then our teacher called Marvin and I to do our interview. I sat down in my blue moulded plastic chair and Marvin slumped down in his yellow plastic chair. We sat there for a few uncomfortable seconds when I suddenly realized that we were supposed to come up with play roles for in the mock interview. I stared at Marvin as he sat there.

For some reason I thought of the VHS copy of the movie, the Color Of Money that was sitting there unwatched in my families living room. (As it would be for five more years until it got thrown out, still pristine in its plastic wrapper.) And I blurted out “So… uh, what was it like making The Color of Money, Paul Newman?”  Thankfully, Marvin caught on that he was supposed to play Paul Newman in the mock interview, but it soon dawned on me that Marvin didn’t know who Paul Newman was, except that he was a movie star of some sort.

I stumbled through the interview making up questions on the fly that sounded like they were prepared before hand. At the end of the interview, I asked Marvin. “So, uh, ah, what’s your next movie going to be about, Paul Newman?” Marvin got a smug look on his face, folded his arms and said “I’m making a movie about my life, it’s called Paul Newman: Rich Movie Star!” Marvin’s response pissed me off because I had wanted him to come up with a movie title that was better sounding than “Paul Newman: Rich Movie star.”

Jesus, it never pays to do group work in school.

jareddriskill

film history#7

Uh oh, students and faithful reading several, we are apporaching the halfway point in our course in post modern film history. Your favorite blog writer, that’s me, in case you were wondering, had to take a mid term exam for the first six flims in this series last night and boy, was it the easiest test I have ever taken! What a way to falsely inflate my GPA! But I digress…

This week in the syllabus, the genre of discussion is the French New Wave of cinema in which basically some french film critics had said “Oh, I can make better films than what I am reviewing” and so they put their money where their mouths were and attempted to do so. Say what you will about the French, but that is a pretty ballsy thing for someone to do.

Like most of the films so far in this series, The 400 Blows is an movie I have always read about but never had a chance to actually see. Of course, when I say “always read about” I mean that it is mentioned briefly in the introduction in the now classic Hitchcock/Truffaut interview book.

Now that I have finally seen the 400 Blows, I am shocked and amazed by the fact that Morrissey, has to my knowledge, never written at least 3 album tracks and 4 b-sides (2 of which would be utter shit) using this movie as source material. The plot line of The 400 Blows sounds like something he would find alot of inspiration in: Boy hates school, hates his parents, plays hooky with his much more interesting friend, sees his mom having an affair, gets in trouble at school by saying his mother is dead, gets in trouble and runs away, goes back home,  almost sets fire to his house by building an altar to the author Balzac (don’t ask,) runs away from home and lives with his much more interesting friend, gets caught stealing a typewriter from his dad’s office, goes to juvie hall, smokes a cigarette in jail, disowned by his parents, runs away from juvie hall and runs to the sea.

(Whew! On second thought, Morrissey could write a concept double album based on the 400 Blows.)

Of course I almost discounted this movie because of my disdain for films where the main characters are children, but seeing how the young lad in the 400 Blows acted like he was an adult, I was willing to waive my personal rule on the matter. It also didn’t hurt that the actress who played his mother  was really attractive, either. Wowza!

My only complaint about the 400 Blows that I have is this: at the end of the film when the lead character runs away from juvie hall and runs to the sea (which was etablished several times in the film that he has never seen before) we didn’t have to have real time footage of him actually running across the country to the sea. A simple montage of him running through different backgrounds would’ve sufficed.

next week on the syllabus: Psycho!

jareddriskill

random item tuesdays

1. I have been noticing lately that people are driving their cars and riding around in their bicycles while listening to their ipods. How do I know they are listening to their ipods? Because they are wearing those stupid ass ear bud headphones, that’s why! I’m not going to go into how it is illegal to listen to something on earphones while you are operating a vehicle, I just amazed that people can stand to wear those uncomfortable things, much less be comfortable enough to operate a vehicle while wearing them.

2. By the way things are sounding from the past few days, I believe that one of my neighbors is starting a shitty punk rock band. Because he and his buddies have been rehearsing the same 4 songs over and over. Let me write you a review of their unnamed rock n roll combo right now: you suck! You should also get rid of that sorry ass Joy Division style bass solo in the third song of your set and tell your drummer to slow things down by half a step during the big finale of your last song, that should tie things together much better.

3. I like to give a birthday shout out to a friend of mine, who told me this past weekend that she was thinking about selling her used socks to perverts on ebay for tons of extra cash. Why she even decided to tell me about this plan is beyond my limited understanding. But happy birthday anyway!

(Don’t worry my dear, I didn’t mention to my faithful reading several that you are a public school teacher in realtion to this story, like you asked me to Your secret is safe with me!)

jareddriskill

dreamlog #28

I had a dream where in an alternate universe that in season one of Project Runway that the long haired, smooth talking Robert whathisface, had made it into the final three instead of the eventual winner of Project Runway season one in our universe, Jay McCarrol.

Robert’s entire collection was made out of a special tin foil that hypnotized everyone who saw his clothes in person into think that they were the most awesome looking clothes, like, ever. However, if you saw his clothes in print or on television, they looked like the shit that they were. However, more importantly, the derserving winning designer from any dimension, Wendy Pepper, was going to get screwed out of the victory. Grrr!

So anyways, I was watching this alternative universe season one of Project Runway on DVD on my laptop and I wanted to scream at the judges,”You idiots! Robert made his dresses out of special mind control tin foil!” But I couldn’t because I had a sore throat in this dream and that I realized that it was a DVD from an alternate universe, so who really gives a fuck?

jareddriskill

be kind rewind

For some reason, when I first saw the previews for “Be Rewind Rewind,” I got all excited to go see it despite the fact I don’t care for the comedic talents of Jack Black (Mainly because people say I remind them of him at times. This is not true: that no good no talent having asshat stole my shtick and got famous off it before I could get the chance, the bastard!) 

I was also wary of the the previous work of director Michel Gondry, particularly his last film, “The Science of Sleep” which I thought was too pretentious, except for the dream sequences which I thought were creative and wonderful. Thne you top that off with the X factor that is the talent of Mos Def, who, oddly enough, when you consider his positive standing in the hip hop community, can play characters with slight metal retardation to perfection. (I’m not trying to insinuate anything here, I’m only just trying to point out a truism.) At first when you consider these factors, you have yourself a potentionally uncertain mess. However when you actually combine all these uncertain factors, they seem to cancel each other out to create a really fucking spectacular film. Who would’ve thunk it?!? (Except those who believe in the lost art of “movie magic,” that is.)

Movie magic is the correct term to describe this movie. The plot of ”Be Kind Rewind” reads like a Mighty Boosh script that was rejected because it was just not quite surreal enough. Jack Black through his typical zaniness, gets magnetized and accidentally erases all the video tapes in stock in a struggling video/thrift store that is run by Mos Def and owned by the poor mans Morgan Freeman, Danny Glover. In a stroke of creative genius, Jack Black and Mos Def decide to recreate all the erased movies using a camcorder and the home made results are better than the actual movies they are replacing. Hell, I admit that I would rather watch their version of “Robocop” over the offical release anyday. 

There is also a pretentious plot device revolving around Fats Waller, but the home made or “sweded” movie that Jack Black and Mos Def’s characters made about the jazz legend is one of the more inspired creative moments of the film. Fancy that!

However, to end this review on a side note, I don’t know why, but when people call an film by another name besides the actual title, it irks me to no end. For instance, when I told several people that I was going to see this movie, which I called by the actual title, “Be Kind Rewind,” but the people who I spoke to had referred to the film as “Please Be Kind Rewind.” Even the people in line at the box office referred to the film as either ”Please Be Kind” or “Be Kind” (no Rewind.) Even the person behind the box office window referred to it as just “Rewind”which was the title written on the digital marqee at the movie theater despite the fact there was more than enough room on the marquee to squeeze in the full correct title of this film on it.

So, if ”Be Kind Rewind” bombs at the box office, it’s because people really don’t know what to call it, and if they don’t know the correct title for the film, they just aren’t going to go see it. As evidenced by the fact that only six other people went to the showing of “Be Kind Rewind”that I went to and that’s a bad sign on opening weekend.

jareddriskill

week 8

It’s been two months with still no word about a a new syndicator/distributor for the Best of Soul Train. Let’s keep our fingers crossed, shall we? We still have plenty of time and we don’t have to make offerings to our deity of choice just yet, folks.

Enjoy.

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Man, I don’t know what is wrong with me. I just could not stay focused on this week’s offering of the Best Of Soul Train. (I knew I should’ve taken that nap!) Luckily for me, this episode was the following episode from the one they played last week with plenty of the same songs getting repeated air play such as “Love Injection” and “Master Jam.” I did notice that the Soul Train Dancers still danced with the carefree looseness of the late 1970’s even though this particular episode was filmed in early 1980. It’s nice to know that paranoia of the 1980’s didn’t start at the stroke of midnight, January 1, 1980, as the revisionist historians would like us to believe.

Soul Train Scramble Board: Maynard Jackson.  Uhm, okay I don’t know who he was, but the Soul Train Dancers sure grooved on down to “The Beat Goes On” by The Whispers. But isn’t that what really matters?

This week’s musical guests were:

The Ritchey Family: They were introduced by their producer/songwriter Jacques Morelli, who was also the mastermind behind the Village People. (Um, if I were him, I would try toleave that little fact off my resume in the future.) The Ritchey Family preformed two songs, first being “Put Your Feet To The Beat” which still referenced disco long after the disco inferno had died out. (No wonder the group never took off!) The second song: “Give Me A Break” which, sadly, was not the theme song of the sitcom of the same name that starred Nell Carter and that young mega talent, Joey Lawrence. Dammit!

Capitan And Tennille: They performed their monster hit, “Do That To Me One More Time” and some BB King song called “Never Make A Move Too Soon.” You just gotta love the Captain, he has such a horrible shtick: he wears a Captain’s hat and plays some shitty keyboards, but he somehow managed to parlay that into a 30+ year long career. to misquote that great song by the Supersuckers, I’m just not into your shtick, Captian. Tenille, however, during the group interview hyped up some talk show she was about to start. I suppose it wasn’t the big hit she thought it would be, because I never knew that she ever had a day time talk show.

The Electric Boogaloo did a special dance routine to a Bar Kays song, ”The Rocking Don’t Stop”(?) Whatever the song was, The Electric Boogaloo were fucking fantastic!

Soul Train Line: That “Don’t Push it, Don’t Force It” song that they played a week or two ago.

I was real proud of Don Cornelius this week, he didn’t do so bad during the interviews. However, the way he was kissing Captain and Tennille’s ass did made me sick to my stomach. He shouldn’t have to be shuch a shill to whitey!

Well folks, if that didn’t do it, it can’t be done! Until next week, Don Cornelius, the Soul Train Dancers and I would implore you to go with love, peace and SOUL!

jareddriskill

six finger satellite

Six Finger Satellite/Law of Ruins/ Sub Pop Records 1998

If there is one thing that I really enjoy about uploading my massive cd collection unto my ipod and that is rediscovering the numerous long forgotten gems I have buried deep in my groove yard of forgotten favorites. The first such rediscovered gem that I will write about is Law of Ruins by Six Finger Satellite, which, incidentally, was an album that I didn’t like when it was first released. Let me explain.

I happened to love Six Finger Satellites’ previous albums, “Severe Exposure” and “Paranormalized” when they were first released, but the spastic moog synthesizer and travis bean guitar driven hard rock of those albums did not prepare me at all for the leap the band made with their final album, Law of Ruins, which was moodier and spacier sounding than the bands previous efforts. Instead of sonically cutting you to the bone with an instant jolt of electricity, Law of Ruins methodically and meticulously slit you in the throat and then left you for dead in death valley in the middle of a heat wave.

I also remember getting into an argument with my late older brother when this album was first released, in which I had disagreed with him on the subject that Law of Ruins is a very satisfying album to listen to straight through from beginning to end. He and I used to disagree on a whole lot of topics at the end of his life, but dammit, after listening to this album with a fresh perspective that only time can give you, I have to concede that he was absolutely right about this one.

Law of Ruins was an album I should’ve instantly liked when it was first released, had it been released by another band. But being the fool that I was 10 years ago, I took offense to the fact there wasn’t enough “old” Six Finger Satellite sounding material on the album and that the last song on the album was given a cutesy pun title, “Hertz So Good.” This coupled together with the disagreement I had my brother mentioned earlier in this text, Law Of Ruins sat there, on my shelf for close to ten years gathering dust, unlistened and unappreciated. A fact now rectified by my rediscovery of this album.

jareddriskill

p.s. Does anyone out there among my faithful reading several has a copy of Severe Exposure they would like to sell or burn for me? My copy is too scratched up to upload and Itunes inexplicably doesn’t have it for sale. (But yet, they sell Law of Ruins and Paranormalized. Hmmm….)

flim history#6 Lilies of the Field

Everyone knows the answer to the trivia question that Sidney Poitier won the oscar for best actor in 1963 for Lilies of the Field, but if you ask them what the movie was all about, they’d be damned if they know anything about the plot. But that’s why I’m taking this film history course, so you, the faithful reading several, can share in the knowledge and of course to use this knowledge to win a couple of bar bets on the side.

Sidney Poitier plays Homer Smith, a carpenter/drifter who stumbles upon a convent of refugee East German Nuns (hey it was the cold war) who are convinced that this baptist handyman was sent by god to build them a chapel in the bad lands of southern Arizona. Normally, I dismiss religious comedies because well, they tend to suck. The writers of this film could’ve gone down the easy route and generated humor in the “we have conflicting religious views” vein, but thankfully, they kept this down to the minimum and kept the humor and the tone of the film lighthearted.

Lilies of the Field was also ahead of the time in the respect that they were pro mexican immigrant labor as Sidney Poitier used the local Mexican population to help build the chapel, also you die hard republicans out there should be proud in the fact that the laborers had worked for free. So none of the local indigenous population wasn’t affected economically by thier actions.

I think the real star of the film was the actress who played the mother superior, whose name I did not catch in the credits. She had just the right combination of sternness and cuteness that I like in a woman. I wanted to pluck her off the movie screen, take her home with me and deflock her, if you catch my drift.

next week on the syllabus: The 400 Blows

jareddriskill

random item tuesdays

1. My main man, The Man, pointed out a fact so true and direct to the point to me the other day that it should’ve been obvious to me in the past 31 years that I have been living on this godforsaken planet, but mysteriously, it wasn’t. And this important, earth shattering fact is: that if a pizzeria can’t make a decent pepperoni pizza, the most basic of all pizzas, then that pizzeria is no damn good.

Think about it: how can a pizzeria make all sort of goofy pizzas with all sort of crazy toppings, if they can’t get the basics right? It makes perfect sense to me.

Of course, when The Man pointed this hard truth out to me, I slapped my forehead not because I had once worked in an Italian restaurant many years ago, albeit it was a very shitty one, but because I should’ve been on my game for all these years and had a V-8.

2. I have reams of hilarious stories stemming from my current internship, but alas, I signed a confidentiality agreement and I’m not legally allowed to share those stories with you, my faithful reading several, until my placement ends sometime later this spring. So, don’t go around thinking that my life has gotten boring all of a sudden, which it hasn’t, it’s just I’m not allowed share the hilarity with you at this current time.

3. I have to say I am finally happy with my 80 GB Ipod classic because I finally gotten all the album artwork for all my albums loaded to Itunes. I used to get pissed when I finally uploaded an album from my cd collection onto Itunes, but Itunes would send me a notification stating that “the album artwork could not be found” and it puts up that grey screen with the musical note on it instead. Even though, mind you, I would go look on the Itunes store and they would have that exact same album for sale…. with the album artwork intact!

For someone who thinks that looking at the album artwork is an integral part of the music listening experience, it was very frustrating to say the least. In fact, I used to intentionally not listen to any albums I had uploaded onto my Ipod that didn’t have the album artwork on it. I know it sounds crazy, but to me, being able to look at the album artwork is THAT important. But this is no longer a problem. I can now flip through the cover flow function with total glee and giggling like a school girl because I have all my album artwork loaded on my ipod. Wheee!

dreamlog #27

In this dream, I was carrying on my regular daily business but, my hands, particularly my fingers itched really bad. At first, it was a minor annoyance and I was able to ignore the itching, however,  as my day, or in this case, my dream progressed my fingers itched more and more.

Then about half way through my dream, I was unable to conduct my daily business and I became obsessed with scratching my hands and fingers fingers. I was scritching and scratching but nothing was happening.

I would say that my itchy fingers were driving me insane in this dream, but there is an element among my faithful reading several that would say that being driven insane wouldn’t be a long trip for me.

jareddriskill