Ah yes, today was the first day back to classes here on campus. I don’t have any Monday classes this semester, but I took a brief walk around campus this afternoon to spy on my competition. (Yes, I view college as a competition. One in which I have to prove to myself that I am better and smarter than my younger, whippersnapper, classmates. Is that SO wrong?)

In my short walk I had noticed several things about my competitors/potential classmates.

1. I noticed that there are a highly unusual number of African American males wearing t-shirts of old 1980’s thrash metal bands such as Slayer, Metallica, King Diamond and the Misfits (even though they were punk rock.) Not that there is anything wrong with wearing a metal t-shirt, it just was sort of startling to me to see hip hoppers wearing them as an ironic fashion statement.

2. I must be getting old, but college aged girls, to me, look like little nine year old girls who are trying to play “I’m all grown up and wearing my mother’s clothes, so please stop laughing and take me seriously!”

I know that men who are around my age, who would think that this last comment is that of a stark raving lunatic. You see, I happen to like women who know what they want in life and these “children” here on campus don’t seem to know their ass from a hole in the ground. Or maybe, maybe, your favorite blog writer (i.e. me) just happens to be a really fucking jaded individual at this stage of the game.

3. Speaking of playing grown up, why is it that whenever someone on campus talks on their cell phone, they like to discuss their “grown up” problems out loud as if to prove to everyone else within hearing range that they are more “grown up’ than the rest of their peers, like it is a competition of some sort? Man, if you think that running of “Peanut Butter Captain Crunch” is hard, you got a real surprise waiting for you out there in the real world, pal.

jareddriskill