Welcome to the first in an irregular series at jareddriskill.com called “animal cruelty from animal lovers,” in which I expose the hypocritical actions of those who claim that they “love” animals.  I believe that this attitude is humorous in its own sad way, kinda like when I laugh my ass off at the dumb ass owners of pets but at the same time, am sadden at the condition of said pets whenever I watch “Animal Cops” on Animal Planet.
Now, I’m hardly an animal lover myself and I have no overt agenda to push with this series, but I do believe that if I somehow came into the procession of an animal, I shall do the responsible thing and at least take care of the thing. Some people, apparently, do not feel the same way…

Spending Thanksgiving house sitting for my dad brought back to my memory that people who live out in the country think that it is perfectly alright to let their pet Dogs roam around aimlessly with no supervision at all. Also, their owners think it’s okay to allow their pets to trespass onto others peoples property, cause untold property damage and eat their garbage. (Supposedly, owners of country dogs don’t think it is acceptable to ever feed their pets either. Nor do they worry about being legally responsible for the actions of their roaming pets.)

When I first moved to Virginia 10 years ago or so, I lived at my dad’s house. I didn’t own a vehicle at the time and the only means of getting to and from work, most of the time, was walking the three miles, each way, to the place of my employment. (You gotta do what you gotta do to make it in this world.) I recall that about half way through my trip each day, that there was a mangly looking golden retriever who would run up to me, growl and bare his teeth. Noting that he looked hungrier and hungrier and more disparate each time that I saw him, I only knew that it was a matter of time before he would try to take a bite out of me. So before I reached the point of my journey where I would run into the said dog, I would pick up a empty beer bottle from the ditch. (People in the country also think it is acceptable to litter.)

Not two days after I started to pick up beer bottles, the dog tried to jump at me. I swung the beer bottle at it’s snout and broke out a few of it’s teeth. The dog stepped back, bleeding, and started to rear up for another lunge at me. With the now broken beer bottle in my hand, I stabbed it repeatedly in it’s side until some guy, the dog’s owner, ran out and demanded to know “what da hell” was going on.  The owner, as it turned out, got a sick kick out of watching his dog growl at me everyday and was eagerly awaiting the day that his dog would try to maul me. (I don’t blame the dog for it’s actions, it’s owners neglect and sick desire is what drove him to it.) I turned to the owners direction and pointed the broken and bloody beer bottle at him and radiated pure evil at him. After that incident, I never saw that particular dog again, I figured that I had probably killed the dog or that the owner was so afraid that I would kill him (the owner, not the dog) for being such a sick fuck, and learned to kept him in check.

Of course, over the years, this wasn’t the only story about roaming dogs where my dad lives. My dad used to jog with a inch thick dow rod with 16 penny nails sticking out of it because dogs would try to chase or attack him. There were plenty of one eye mutts walking around, but it eventually got to the point that my dad had to quit jogging because there were just too many dogs to fight off.

Just this past Thanksgiving break, I noticed that one of my dad’s neighbor’s 80+ pound rottweiler would roam onto my property cause general damage. One afternoon, the dog came onto the property again doing his own thing like he had full run of the place. I went outside and grabbed the aluminum baseball bat on the back porch that my dad leaves there for this exact purpose and tried to chase the dog off property. The dog ran off… for about 10 yards and then stopped, turned and growled at me in defiance. Uh-oh.

It was when I saw the fur standing up on the back of his neck that he wasn’t wearing a collar.  Since I take zero pleasure in hurting animals that are trying to hurt me, (but I have no such qualms about defending myself if the need arises,)  I dropped the bat down to my side to show it that I wasn’t a “threat” in the hopes that the dog would just leave without incident. A few minutes roll by and the dog is still growling and it is beginning to inch up to me. I waited till he got up close to me and tried to snap at me with his teeth before I clobbered him on the top of it’s skull with full force with the baseball bat. The dog was knocked out cold.

Of course, after I had clobbered the dog, his owner came running up to me shouting because I hurt his beloved dog. (Why is it whenever dog owners see that their dog is about to maul somebody, they take no action until after it’s all said and done, thus, making them even more liable for any damages caused?) If you “love” your dog so much, why don’t you try to prevent this event from happening?

So, if you live out in the country and happen to own a dog: 1. Please make sure your dog is fed on a regular basis so that it won’t be as likely to go into other people’s property and cause damage looking for food.  2. Make sure that your property is fenced off so that it won’t be as easy for for dog to escape and cause trouble. 3. Be sure that your dog wears some sort of official identification. (No, your ratty looking Harley Davidson bandanna tied around it’s neck does not count.) 4. If you know that your dog is trespassing onto other people’s property and causing damage and you do nothing about it, you could be sued and or have you dog taken away from you 5. If you know that your dog is about to attack somebody and you don’t do anything to prevent it, you can be sued and/or your dog can be rightfully harmed or killed by the person being attacked. (If the person being attacked is anything like me, hurting or killing the dog does takes an enormous emotional toll.)

These 5 suggestions aren’t THAT hard to follow, though they do take a little bit of effort on your part (and we all know how lazy most people really are,) but if you truly “love” your pet and actually care about it’s “safety,” then it’s a really small price to pay.

jareddriskill