What’s the deal all of a sudden with everyone pushing the “green” lifestyle like it’s a brand spanking new concept? TV networks are now promoting that they have converted enitre networks and/or tv shows into being “green.” Green products line the shelves at stores in overabundance, I’ve also noticed on campus that my younger classmates are really pushing the “green” issue with an renewed vigor.

Hell, I have even seen commercials for a hybrid SUV. Which, I believe is the ultimate irony because those environmentalist types blamed the hole in the ozone layer on the American public’s greed for these gas guzzling behemoths. Being “green” has now become “big business.” The major corporations have just found a new way to milk some more money out your pocketbook. Three cheers for unbridled capitalism! Hip, hip, horray!

Here’s a side question for you to ponder: if they know that there is a hole in the ozone layer and know what ozone is made of up chemically and what have you, then why don’t they find a way to patch or repair it? I mean cutting back on emissions and recycling is good and all, but wouldn’t also make total sense to repair the ozone layer? But yet, there hasn’t been one “environmentally minded” scientist, to my knowledge, that has proposed repairing the ozone layer as a possible solution. Don’t that make you curious?

Though I hate to break it to you, just like how there hasn’t been any cures for diseases since polio, the pollution problem will never be totally solved. Solving the “environmental problem” means that big corporations can’t continue to siphon money from the public selling you “green” items. If the environmental crisis was ever solved, that means they would have to lay off Greg from marketing and Sharron from secretarial pool. And the American public just hates it when people lose their jobs for reasons beyond their control, don’t we?

This resurgence in ‘green’ thinking can’t be because Al Gore recently won the Nobel peace prize with his hypocritical environmental stance, can it? (i.e. such as claiming that his $1,200 monthly electric bill in his personal mansion was perfectly okay for him to have because his work for environment more than makes up for it,) If this happens to be the case, then that means being “green” is the hip new fad to be abandoned unanimously by the public like a piece of rotted garbage a few months later, like the Atkins diet fad from a few short years ago.

Remember the Atkins fad? You couldn’t go to a restaurant without having a low carb menu shoved down your throat. ( It was okay, just as long the menu itself was low carb.) The Atkins diet did help people lose weight, alright, but people pushing the diet “failed” to mention to the general public that the human brain runs solely on carbohyrates (uh, take a course in human physiology, corky) and everyone I have ever met on the Atkins diet instantly became mentaly handicapped while they were on it.  The most common complaint I heard was “I look great, but I, ah, can’t think straight anymore.”

Perhaps I have, inadvertently, just answered my question. Maybe the brain damage caused by the Atkins diet distracted the general public with empty “green” sloganeering and “doing their part” while big business continues to fleece them yet again. I suppose nobody ever truly listened to The Who when they sang “I won’t be fooled again.”

jareddriskill