Dreamlog #109

I dreamt that human beings had the ability to take their own eyeballs out of their eye sockets. I somehow lost my right eyeball and tried placing a cherry tomato in my eye socket to fill the empty space. The cherry tomatoes were either too small that they fell out or too large that they wouldn’t fit in the socket. Oh, to find a cherry tomato that was “just right!”

International cat act like a brat day

My cat, parisdriskill, has informed me that the Kitten High Council has proclaimed that today is International Cat Act Like A Brat Day and that any attempts to appease her will fail to work. Well!

(But isn’t everyday international cat act like a brat day?)

Random Item Tuesday

ITEM! I was quite actually impressed that the season premier of Dexter did not break out the shows tired “oh no, I’m about to get found out! Oops, lucky break, back to business as usual!” plot that they use in every episode. Maybe they will bring it back in episode 2.

ITEM! Cold weather has quickly desended down upon da fist city this past weekend. Along with it came the arthritis in my knees. Oi vey!

ITEM! You can learn alot of things on the streets except for one thing: recombinant DNA. They have schools for that.

Dreamlog #108

Dreamt that Conan O’Brian still had his old (90′s era) late night talk show. The word on the street was that David Letterman was going to be a guest on a particular date and getting a ticket for this taping was going to be extremely difficult as tickets were being given out on a first come, first serve basis.

The day of the taping arrives and instead of the massive throngs clambering for a ticket, the producers only found 5 extremely bored people patiently waiting to get in.

Snappy answers to stupid questions in retail part 32

Q: I looking for this (makes fist with her hand and begins to stoke it in the air in a rapid up and down fashion.)

A: Ma’am, I’m flattered, but this is a family establishment!

Q: (frustrated) No, the stuff you put on spaghetti!

A: Is that what they call it on the streets these days?

Random item Tuesday

Item! Have been obsessed with deadmalls.com this past week. The ironic thing about this site is that there hasn’t been very many updates to the website since 2005/2006 so the site is sort of a dead mall in itself. It is fascinating site to read for someone, like me, who has moved around alot and has actually been to many of the malls listed.

Item! If I were going to join a fictitious criminal organization, I would join Hydra, the evil criminal espionage organization from Marvel comics. Mainly because when a Hydra agent gets uncovered they shout “hail Hydra!” and some other deathless phrase like “if you cut off one head another grows back in it’s place” before committing suicide. Now that’s dedication! They must have a really terrible severance package to inspire spontaneous suicide like that.

Also the leader of Hydra is a bald german war criminal named Baron Von Strucker. He has a monocle!

Item! You can learn lots of things on the street except for one thing: why auto makers don’t sell cars colored shit brown like they did in the 70′s. You have to ask an auto dealer about that.

The most vile tasting thing ever

When I was 3 or 4 years old, my older brother sat down on my chest and forced me to eat a ketchup sandwich, which until recently, I claimed was the most vile thing ever.

Now a new item as claimed the title: freeze dried cantaloupe. Ever wondered what the dirt like taste of cantaloupe would be like devoid of moisture? Me either, but I wish I could build a time machine and prevent this abomination from ever occurring.

Dreamlog #107

I dreamt that everyone in the world changed their Facebook statuses and tweeted “the queen of England came to visit me at work… Not on my dime!” Apparently this was some kind of protest of some sort, but it wasn’t explained to me at all.

Random item tuesday

ITEM! The word on the economic front is that Greece is almost 100% certain to default. Can anyone think of a time that a nation had received loans from the IMF and have have things end up well? Or better yet, when was the last time that a populace that is used to government handouts and social programs has been responsible with its spending?

ITEM! International music copyright laws/ regulations make it possible for music piracy to occur. The new single from the Manic Street Preachers came out this week, in England only. In order for international fans to hear the single is to obtain an illegal copy from the Internet. If regional restrictions were lifted, the artist would make more money (I would be willing to pay for a legal copy if one was available to me) and not waste money on lawyer fees. Internet piracy will always exist, but if the consumer is given a better, wider selection and a decent price point, piracy would be a minor annoyance instead of a major problem for the recording industry.

ITEM! You can learn plenty of things on the street except for this one thing: how to recycle phone books. You have to go to a recycling center for that.

Be positive! Say yes!

Yes! I do have a wonky face and I’m proud of it!